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mayfriend:

mayfriend:

randomslasher:

spaceshipoftheseus:

thedarkbutbeige:

ironbite4:

slartibartfastibast:

Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book.  It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.

there’s a timeskip

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!

IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH

AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because

THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING

AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA

BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM

HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -

IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

#tbf the dude wrote it to be a dick

yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.

i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.

(via earthbender)

cakemakethme:

Terry Crews coming in with some wisdom

(via hotboyproblems)

intergalacticsuperstar:

I’m laughing so hard at this series of tweets

*30 minutes later*

watch the trailer here!

(via saintdollyparton)

icouldwritebooks:

I love it when the little kids I’m teaching online have complete and total misconceptions of what’s going on. So far, I’ve encountered the following:

1. I had been teaching a little girl for several months, when one day she said to me: “My mother says you’re a real person, not an app. If you’re a real person, show me your husband.”

2. I was about to end a class, but the little girl I was teaching didn’t want the class to end. She turned to her mom and asked if she could please watch one more episode. Turns out she was under the impression that I was a very interactive TV program.

3. I couldn’t find my marker in class today. The boy I was teaching was like, “What’s your apartment number? I’ll come up and help you find it!” The boy lives in China and I live in the United States. I guess most people he knows live in the same building as him, so he assumed I did too.

4. I had been teaching a kid for quite some time when I mentioned my age in class. She was like, “Wait, you’re an adult????” She’d thought I was twelve.

(via i-am-kantkiss-neverclean)

hazedhowell:

saywhatjessie:

Guys.

My dudes.

You have no idea

how satisfying it is

to be the only girl at a table with five dudes

who are all hitting on the waitress

and you’re the one who gets her number

GOD bless

(via kikicalanmai)